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September 6th, 2007

Fashion foreplay or follies

Everyday I take public transportation to and from work and, because I am a writer, I constantly look at my surroundings for inspiration. Riding public transportation lends itself to be a perfect venue for such curiosities. Among my travels walking to and from the light rail stops and riding the train itself, I see a ton of folks; folks of all sorts and sizes, folks of all strangeness and delights. Of course because I am also a single woman writer, I am also on the lookout for more personal ventures, and my curiosities take on a different approach. That being said, I don’t think I will ever find my soul mate on the train nor walking the city streets. Why?  Because I am a picky, judgmental little girl who will embrace everyone in my community, though I won’t just ‘go there’ with anyone, especially not someone who dresses like ‘that.’

Now it is not just the men whom dress like ‘that,’ women get their fill of ridicule as well.  For instance, the other day I was walking along my path when I passed a woman.  Doing the once over with my eyes I uttered an “oh god” under my breath.  A girl-wash sandy blond bob haircut with bangs, and a short jean skirt with an orange print tee on top to boot. You might be asking; ‘What’s wrong with that? The whole Dreamsicle color scheme is totally in this summer season and ladies have been sporting the print tees since Drew Barrymore stepped out of a car with a cool sport coat dressed over the tucked in print.’

See, the problem wasn’t necessarily with the attire but what the attire exclaimed.  Right across the chest of her cool print tee was the words “coconut milk.”  Um… the woman had HUGE breasts!  I am talking double D’s!  There is no way this woman was wearing this tee as an innocent gesture.  She should have just had neon arrows pointing to her honkers.  Class has left the building and tacky has immediately taken its place!  And to think this woman’s friends actually allowed her to walk out of the house with such a remark gleaming across her breasts!  Oy vey—what happened to friendship?

Let’s carry on with this print tee debacle.  While there are some mornings when I dive into the pages of my book and rarely look up at my surroundings, there are other mornings while riding the train where I don’t do anything but watch the folks walking in and out of the opened doors.  Who am I kidding, I have a short attention span; even when I am reading I perk my head up to take a look every so often.  This particular morning I was reading my book and was actually really involved with said book when a cute boy waltzed onto the train.  Of course I did the once over to take inventory of the complete package, i.e. what the boy was wearing (I mean, how one dresses is absolutely telling and you know how I am judgmental about a book and its cover especially when it comes to fashion).  He sort of reminded me of a fraternity boy straight out of a Division II school.  You know, the boys that wear loose fitting jeans, a print t-shirt, and a backwards baseball hat?  Yeah, those boys, and he absolutely fit the mold.  Though the outfit totally lacks effort and uniqueness, the boy’s cuteness factor can sometimes outweigh the lack of creativity, except this time.  I mean, the boy was cute and all, until I read his t-shirt: “I Am Here.  What else do you need?”  Stupid.

Another fashion folly (actually foreplay) took place when I was walking across one of the main drags in town and noticed a girl whom was dressed quite normal with a thin strapped white tank, low riding fitted flared washed out jeans, and low top brown converse.  It’s okay, right?  Yeah, until you notice the details.  This girl, whom was maybe 18, had handcuffs dangling off the belt loops of her low riding jeans.  I mean that is just an advertisement saying “S&M please!”  She should have just Sharpied her 900# across the backside of her tight jeans.

All that being said, there are times I actually do find fashion inspiration amongst my fellow urban dwellers running from sidewalk to train station.  It just seems that the follies outshine the insights, or maybe the follies are simply more fun to point out.


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